Life as a nurse is pretty serious most of the time, but occasionally there are moments like these that lighten the mood immeasurably. We’ve all had those patients who have confused our instructions and got them horribly wrong!

These are the Top 10 funniest miscommunications shared by healthcare professionals!

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1.

The ol’ yogurt for the yeast infection? Um, yeah…you were supposed to EAT it!

2.

The father who calls from work about “the pink stuff” (amoxicillin). “Isn’t it a little too thick to go through the nebulizer? Shouldn’t it be diluted?”

3.

The elderly lady who couldn’t understand why her husband needed medication for high blood pressure as well as low blood pressure. Turns out the “low pressure” for his low blood pressure was Lopressor!

4.

The diabetic who was trained to administer insulin using an orange. When a nurse later discussed meds with the patient, the patient stated he was getting tired of oranges and wanted to know what other food he could inject and eat.

5.

In the ER, a patient was asked, “Are you sexually active?” Response: “You mean I just lie there or what?”

6.

A gentleman who was receiving chemo had to have a 24-hour urine test done with each cycle. He was given his “jug,” at which point he stated, “I just can’t do this again. I can’t stay up all night waiting to pee!”

7.

The patient who repeated over the phone to various family members: “They’re putting a light up my privates to look at my heart.” She was talking about her heart ablation!

8.

A patient who spoke poor English arrived in Labor and Delivery and said, “I’m here for my scheduled seduction”!

9.

The patient who is in the bathroom a tad too long and finally comes out about 20 minutes later to hand you a cup of sperm. Make quite sure to specify exactly what kind of specimen you want, or you might be unpleasantly surprised.

10.

A patient returned to the ER because his fever wasn’t subsiding. When we asked about the suppository, he told us he didn’t know he was supposed to take it out of the foil wrapper.
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