Nursing can be a fulfilling career, but studying to become a nurse is tough! Whether you are currently a Nursing student or an experienced nurse, we know you will relate to these funny jokes about the tough life of being a Nursing student.

Laughter is the Best Medicine!

 

1.

You know you’re a Nursing Student when:

a) Your GPA is greater than the number of hours you sleep in a week.

b) You pay $500 for 4 textbooks and think, “Well, that was cheap.”

c) Making flash cards and using a coloring book means you are studying anatomy, not returning to elementary school.

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2.

Nursing school is a lot like giving birth…

Once it’s over, you tend to forget just how painful the process really was.

3.

A lady asked me if I went to male nursing school…

I told her I started out in female nursing school but, they made me switch schools when they found out I was a guy.

4.

Why did the nursing student cross the road?

In hopes of getting hit by a car.

5.

Did you hear about the Nursing Student that died and went to Hell?

It took her 2 weeks to realize she wasn’t in nursing school anymore.

6.

Differences between a Graduate Nurse and an experienced nurse:

A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn´t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.

A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.

A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.

A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.

A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance “to work with the family.”
An experienced nurse avoids the family.

A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.

A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.

A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.

A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.

A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some “cough syrup” in their bag

A Graduate Nurse doesn´t find this funny.
An experienced nurse does

7.

Nursing School…

Where if you aren’t losing your mind… you just aren’t doing it right

Where your classmates see you more than your family

Where every answer is correct, but you’re still probably wrong.

Where you learn to save lives while trying not to take your own

Where 4 am is a reasonable time to wake up and study for a test you know you’ll fail.

Where 4.0 students stop caring about their grades and are just happy to pass.

When you’re behind before semester even started

8.

Nursing school is like pregnancy

Months of nausea, vomiting, and sleepless nights.

And at the end, you wonder why the hell you did it in the first place.

9.

A male patient is lying in hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “there’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

Are – my – test – results – back?”

 

10.

Nurse: So do you drink, smoke, or use any narcotics?

Patient: Yeah, I’m down for whatever. We should hang out sometime.

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We know Nursing School is stressful and we hope these jokes have lightened your mood. Let us know what your favorite nursing jokes are by sharing them with us in the comments!