A community of nurses on BuzzFeed came together to share some of the worst experiences they’ve encountered whilst working their daily shifts. Here they are:

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  • Expect The Unexpected

Caitlin ‘Kmart’ Martin from Facebook says “I had asked an elderly male patient to give us a urine sample — well, technically asked his young twenty-something, English-speaking son. The son understood and said he would help his father in the bathroom since he was very unsteady on his feet and seemed to be very confused lately.

“I waited about 20 minutes and finally knocked on the bathroom door because they hadn’t come out yet. They walked out together and said that he was all set.”

“I went to the lab window, there was nothing in it. I searched high and low and there — behind the trash can in the bathroom — was the specimen cup. With a GIANT turd in it!”

Now that is pretty nasty Caitlin. I would probably throw up.

  • The Torpedo

Sarahc127 shares with BuzzFeed that when she was working as a nurse tech. she was sitting one-on-one with a patient who had ankle restraints.

She says the lady “kept complaining that it was too hot in the room, so we lowered the temperature, took off blankets, and got a fan to sit at the base of her bed. ““When she lifted her hips off the bed, her stool SHOT across the room and quite literally hit the fan!”

Golly, can you imagine the look of shock they must have had on each of their faces?

  • Nothing Else Matters During An Orgasm. Like for real!

Kelseyd44420508d says “a patient managed to masturbate while in four-point restraints. I happened to walk in at the moment of ‘completion.” “This scarred me for life.”

Jeez, this guy must have been some other kind of contortionist.  Don’t worry Kelsey I would be pretty scarred too.

  • He Never Missed My Hole!

Jennifers442c5e688 hilariously tells us that whilst trying to change an elderly woman’s catheter she missed the urethra! When the lady asked what was happening Jennifer told her she missed the hole.

“She looked at me for a couple seconds then calmly said, ‘My husband never had a problem finding my hole.’ Then she burst out laughing. I had no response — all I could do was laugh with her!”

Honestly, what do you even say to that? I would also break out into complete hysterics.

  • The Blood Party

“I was starting a blood transfusion on a patient who came in regularly for them. I hung the blood bag on the pole and then started trying to spike the bag. As I’m sure a lot of the nurses here know, sometimes those suckers are really hard to spike.”

“I kept twisting and pushing the tip in, trying to get it into the bag so we could begin the transfusion. Well, after a minute or so of trying, I finally felt it give way, but it was immediately followed by an explosion!”

“This bag of blood just completely burst open, covering me, the patient’s mother, and the patient in splatters of blood!”, says DamnNotGiven.

Oh boy! I never knew how much adversity a nurse actually experiences. I am terribly squeamish and probably would’ve fainted! This is definitely not my kind of party.

  • So Dam Awkward!

Alexaj4547f4253 shares that “on a labor and delivery floor we had a man’s girlfriend and mistress having their babies at the same time. They were coincidentally in rooms next to one another, and the man went from room to room the whole night with a proud look on his face.”

“All the nurses knew about the situation but legally couldn’t discuss it with our patients since neither knew about the other.”

Come on gentlemen! That is just downright wrong!

  • The “Cocky” Comment

This one really would have made me cringe.

Tbealor says “I used to work in a urology office. During one appointment I was getting ready to catheterize an older man, and so I took his penis in my gloved hand.”

“Right as I was about to insert the catheter, the man says to me, ‘You know, back in the day that thing was a raging bull.’ Needless to say, I had to collect myself before I went ahead with the catheterization.”

Not only does a nurse need to deal with messy situations, but with patients who think their inappropriate jokes are funny. (Shaking my head)

  • The Inner Beast Took-Over

“I walked in on a man trying to get it on with his wife less than 12 hours after having a baby. I gave him a time-out and told him to walk it off in the hallway,“ says Emilycope.

That must have been a rather long walk to freedom.

  • What Lies Beneath?

As a nurse you just never know what you might find under the surface.

Ktgreen says just recently I was giving my elderly patient a bed bath after his surgery. It is customary to ask patients if they would like to wash ‘down under’ or if they would like the nurse to do it for them.”

“Seeing as he was fairly immobile, he told me he was incapable, but ‘not to be bashful.’”

“I just assumed this was his pain medication talking, but when I lifted up his gown I found a tattoo of a shark on his penis. Not something I ever expected to see on the job.”

Well his sexual endeavors must have been really interesting back in the day.

  • You Learn Something New Everyday

Sometimes being a nurse, means looking to patients for new medical tips and tricks.

Sarahc127 says “I had a new mother spread mashed potatoes on her breast to help her newborn latch easier.”

Well, that is the strangest thing I’ve come across but it seems like a surprisingly smart idea.  Worth a shot!

Being a nurse may be an honorable career path, but it certainly isn’t anything for someone with a weak stomach or mind for that matter. So make sure that you’re a tough cookie.

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